There's no one in town that I know, you gave us some place to go.

I watched The Da Vinci Code yesterday for the first time with Tiffany (one of my room mates). To be honest, I'm really surprised I waited so long to see it since movies like that usually come to interest - I just have to be in the right mood to watch them. Anywho, the point is that it got Tiffany and I on a subject that led far from the movie itself but I'm glad it was brought up.

I met Tiffany last year at a program called Eagle U, which was a self improvment camp type of thing and the most amazing thing I've ever been apart of. She was my "team leader" and some one I immediately began to look up to. Of course, with my participating in Miss Kentucky Teen USA, I was baffled by the fact that she was Miss Washington USA 2006 and was in the pageant the very year Tara Conner won. She's been in Los Angeles now for two years focusing on acting and she's doing a damn good job at it while still managing to be herself. Right now, all of her hard work seems to be paying off and she's recently recieved some great roles that I can't wait to see on screen.

I see a lot of jealousy out here and sometimes I understand why people get so jealous. I can't say I've never been envious of somebody but when you have somebody living out what you want to do before you get a chance, take it as a lesson. You can learn so much from that person if they're willing to help you. Tiffany isn't the only one that has been so great to me out here but she has helped me more than I ever realize sometimes.

Don't be jealous of somebody's success, ask them to help you make your own.

"Great leadership does not mean running away from reality. Sometimes the hard truths might just demoralize the company, but at other times sharing difficulties can inspire people to take action that will make the situation much better." - John Kotter

You took to the spotlight like a diamond ring.

Far from the evergreen of old Assam
Far from the rainfall on the trails of old Saigon
Straight from the poster town of scorn and Ritz
To bring you the wilder side of gold and glitz

Run neon tiger there's a lot on your mind
They promised just to pet you, but don't you let them get you
Away, away, oh, run
Under heat of the southwest sun

Took to the spotlight like a diamond ring
Came from the woodwork and the hopes they might
Redeem themselves from poor decisions to win big

Run neon tiger there's a lot on your mind
They'll strategies to maim you, but don't you let them tame you
You're far too pure and bold
To suffer the strain of the hand as holed.

I don't wanna be kept, I don't wanna be caged, I don't wanna be damned, oh hell
I don't wanna be broke, I don't wanna be saved, I don't wanna be S.O.L
Give me rolling hills and tonight can be the night that I stand among the thousand thrills
Mister cut me some slack, 'cause I don't wanna go back, I want a new day and age

Come on girls and boys, everyone make some noise!

Run neon tiger there's a price on your head
They'll hunt you down and gut you, I'll never let them tame you
Away, away, oh, run
I'm begging you neon tiger run

Under the heat of
Under the heat of southwest sun

Neon tiger
There's a lot on your mind

Neon Tiger - The Killers

How my thoughts they spin me 'round.

I find myself to be inspired in the early hours of the morning. I spent about two hours watching random YouTube videos and I'm really amazed how creative some of these people can be. Between that and listening to music, I've kept myself occupied since 2:30AM (It's now 5:12AM). Lately I've been trying to be "normal" and go to sleep at 10 or 11. Yeah, that works out well. NOT! I always wake up a few hours later, wide awake. Anywho, I have stuff to do tomorrow so I should probably try and go back to sleep until at least 8.

Random thoughts:

• I miss certain people
• I have to get over being too damn proud and ask tomorrow
• It's mother's day
• I'm going for a walk later
• I don't feel like I've done anything significant

Songs I've listened to over and over lately:
Laughing With - Regina Spektor
No one's laughing at God when they see the one they love
Hand in hand with someone else and they hope they're mistaken

Lost Cause - Beck
There's a place where you're going you ain't ever been before
No one left to watch your back now, no one standing at your door

Bette Davis Eyes - Leighton Meester
Her hair is Harlow gold, her lips, sweet surprise
Her hands are never cold, she's got Bette Davis eyes

And Then You - Greg Laswell
How my thoughts they spin me 'round
And how my thoughts they let me down

Light Years Away - Mozella
It's almost like you had it planned
It's like you smiled and took my hand and said "Hey, I'm about to screw you over, big time."

There, There - Radiohead
There's always a siren singing you to shipwreck
Stay away from these rocks we'd be a walking disaster

The Freshman - Verve Pipe
For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise

Mary Jane's Last Dance - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
It was too cold to cry, when I woke up alone
I hit my last number, I walked to the road

Sea of Love - Cat Power
Come with me, my love
To the sea, sea of love

Random mix, I know. I'm ready to get out of the house. Going to work does not count.

Don't lose that flair.

“You got a dream, you got to protect it. People can't do something themselves, they want to tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period.” -Pursuit of Happyness

“You’ll see when you move out. It just sort of happens one day and it’s just gone. And you can never get it back. It’s like you get homesick for a place that doesn’t exist. Maybe that’s all family really is, a group of people who miss the same imaginary place.” -Garden State


"No matter where you run, you just keep running into yourself." -Breakfast at Tiffany's

Baby, I'm a lost cause.

I find it funny that when you want something so bad, the sacrifices you're willing to make almost make you seem like you're not yourself. Then again, simplicity becomes your best friend in a sense.

"Now I may not have much, but I have more determination then any man you're ever likely to meet." -Big Fish

Hey, remember that time when I was broke?

This will not be me anytime soon, if ever.

I woke up in the worst mood today. I don't know if it was because I knew my tire was flat, therefore I knew I couldn't exactly do anything too fun today (or it could be that I was woken up by various phonecalls, who knows). As a matter of fact, there's nothing fun to do within walking distance of my house. Fun was completely ruled out. I could've walked down to RiteAid to print out head shots but for some reason, I didn't. Instead, I chose to do laundry, dishes and all that house stuff that I absolutely hate doing. I'm not meant to be domesticated. It's just not me. It's not that I'm lazy - I'm just really bad at it. You name a household chore, and I'm the worst at it. The only reason why I'm good at cleaning, per say is because I like to be organized. Then again, I'm not even good at that. I'm perfectly content with it though.

I'm done complaining and too antsy to finish this. Back to cleaning!

Wait for something better.

"You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love." -The Notebook

I could waste a lot of my time giving you my E! True Hollywood Story but honestly, that's not a good way to start. To put it simply, I believe all things, good or bad, happen for a reason. Those things can help you build strength, character and determination. They can also break you but it's all in what you make of it. I'm not going to give you a sob story on the bad things that have happened to me, or even brag about the good. I truly believe where I am is because I choose to see the brighter side of bad situations, to make each day count and to go for what I want in life instead of letting others tell me how to live it. I've come a long way and I know I'm where I'm meant to be. Just wait and you'll realize it, too.

I have a lot of stuff on my mind.

It's best that I get it out and into the open. Bare with me.